Is there no privacy laws anymore?

In my day you'd just sue?

Simon Cowell now Jessie J has an unauthorised book written about her? Why? She has been in the public eye for like what, two years? Who can justify writing a book about someone who's only been famous and successful for the last two years. In this book it claims that Jessie J is not bisexual, but a full blown lesbian and that she was told to come out as such as it was more fashionable. Although Jessie J has firmly DENIED all this bullshit the book continues to say that she had knew she was a full blown lesbian since she was 17. I'm not sure its me kinda book.

Mayor Kardashian?

Next stop the White House!

On a recent episode of Khloe and Lamar, Kim Kardashian made a bold statement that she will run for mayor of Glendale. Even though she doesn't actually live there and never has she has looked into what would make her eligible. That eligibility will include moving to the Los Angeles suburb and buying another house to add to her current portfolio of two Los Angeles residences. But thick shit Kim actually has no fucking clue about politics or the fact that there isn't a mayor of Glendale, instead it has five council members who take turns at mayor. I give up. I will cry for you Glendale.

Nicki Minaj deletes Twitter from her life

FAKE!!!!

Nicki Minaj has deleted her Twitter account after an argument with a fan who leaked her new music on line. This comes at a difficult time for the star(?) who has caused tension within her own family by claiming that she wanted to kill her father Omar. Who obviously was pretty hurt by this outburst or publicity stunt (your decision) and is backed up by sources close to the family who claim that although he does have anger management issues these facts are simply untrue.

Brad Pitt finally proposed

I don't like it.

I think someone (Angelina Jolie) was jealous of her boyfriends ex wife announcing her love and engagement so had to follow suit. Its reported that the ring cost $250,000 (less than Jennifer's) and took a year to design, which I think is complete bullshit and she only wants people to think that marriage was on the cards before Jennifer and Justin's relationship. I don't buy it. Well good luck Ang, third times a charm!

Simon Cowell slept with Dannii Minogue?

Slightly nervous?

The man who is afraid of commitment, Simon Cowell is having a book written about him by former BBC reporter Tom Bower. 'The Intimate Life Of Simon Cowell' will include quotes from the sugar daddy and intimate details of his relationships and sexual conquests, obviously. Anyway back in 2007 photos surfaced of Simon and Dannii Minogue holding hands and that's not all that happened. The pair had a wild affair during 2008 just before Dannii met her future boyfriend, Kris Smith who she went on to have a baby boy called Ethan and a four year relationship ending earlier this month. Whilst Simon had many more sexual conquests and not much else. And none of them had 'hair' or 'tits' like Dannii.

Why don't people like Madonna?

Why would you be looking at her toes anyway?

The only reason that I can think of is that they must be jealous? Every project, song and statement she's says seems to cause deep offence or people just bitch for any reason they can. She has sold over 300 million records so is obviously a talented musician and women to aspire to be like unlike some artists today but because she works hard to stay fit over the age of 50 and she forgets to get a pedicure religiously, she obviously has more important things to do! Does anyone actually give a fuck that she attended her own perfume launch in Macy's in peep toe Christian Louboutins without a pedicure? Doubt it.

Diddy got a univited house guest, for 11 years.

He looks... sane?

Diddy may be a crazy dude but his house guest is even crazier, early this week a man with a history of crime and mental illness broke into Diddy's East Hampton modern waterfront home to 'get away from the city for a while'. When questioned initially he was able to pass himself off as one of Diddy's cousins and had claimed to have been a regular visitor at the residence since 2001, which police reports agree to as he first broke into the home eleven years ago. This is actually more funny that the guy who broke into Celine Dion's house a took a cold shower, Diddy must just not mind so random person sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes and eating his food.

41% of my audience are American. I'm guessing Kim Kardashian has been googling herself again?

One of Nicole Scherzingers former backup dancers forgot her bra

Remember her now?

Former Pussycat Doll Melody Thornton stepped out in the Elle's Women In Music Event yesterday and managed to upstage her former band mate Nicole and Jessie J. She forgot her bra. Jessie J turned up quite classy (for her anyway) but then quickly changed to a very revealing cat suit. So in my opinion I see this stunt as either trying to out do Nicole because she had the dancing skills, vocal ability and is now the only member from the Pussycat Dolls you can actually name or, she has an album or other project that needs some publicity. Sex sells.

Crack baby got greedy

I think Jennifer Hudson should get the role.

Since Whitney Houston's untimely death two months ago her daughter, Bobbi Kristian has been thrusted into the lime light and it seems that she ain't complaining. After landing a role on Tyler Perry's latest comedy series she now wants to play her mother in a movie about her life. Rihanna and Jennifer Hudson are also being considered for this coveted role. But even after all this bullshit she is still hungry, bitch is set to star in a reality show with her brother/future husband! Whitney would be proud.

How could anyone be mean to Louis Walsh?

Can you name these talentless people?

Cheryl Cole has finally grew a pair and stuck up for herself, its just a pity that Louis Walsh was the fool who was first in line. She is just a fame hungry whore actually as all this shit began when she refused to admit that Louis ever managed Girls Aloud (even though the other 3 or 4 talentless members have), which obviously Louis took offence to then said some random shit that he's a better manager then she is a singer, which I completely agree with she is useful if she didn't have looks and didn't get cheated on she would just be another pointless desperate celebrity like Nadine Coyle.

Robert died, Kris Escaped, Scott and Bruce got whipped and Lamar lost his career

Oh well.

Lamar Odom who was earlier this year transferred to Dallas is now out of a job. Many spectators believe his shit performance was due to his new wife Khloe Kardashian and him being constantly in the public eye due to the Kardashian Jenner's reality TV shows (which have many names but are all basically the same old shit). From watching Khloe and Lamar (yes they have a genius titled reality show) I'm guessing that he will get really fat because he likes to eat junk food and play video games and she will get no sleep as he will keep her up all night then another two years of marriage. I actually thought this wedding would work.

Cheryl ______?

She is a fool.

Originally Cheryl Tweedy, then she married a fuck up (Ashley Cole) who cheated numerous times and generally acted a twat and Cheryl Cole was formed. But now some time after the separation and official divorce Chezza has dropped her married name but is not taking up her maiden name for her music career. Simply call her Cheryl (it's not very commercial but then again she's not the brightest bulb in the bag, so..?).

Karl Lagerfeld is God.

Really?

The godfather of fashion Karl Lagerfeld has turned his couture hand to another project, a fucking helicopter! The rude and rather obnoxious icon had been approached by Agusta Westland to design a luxurious fleet of helicopters which I can predict that will be overpriced and white. In the past the feld as designed everything from Diet Coke to Dom Perignon and even once was offered to design a fashion village in Dubai (which like everything in Dubai didn't work out).

As if the less talented version of Chavy Cheryl has been signed to the X Factor for another year!

She is ugly, has no talent, what is wrong with people?

Yes, the title is indeed correct Tacky Tulisa has been given another year on X Factor and the tacky bitch has been given a pay rise, of £500,000! And to celebrate she has reportedly bought a white Audi Q7 for £50,000 (which means she's probably had some sort of tasteless, pointless upgrades as the list price for this model begins at £40,010). Well The Voice UK has beat Britain's Got Talent, and now the dictator (Simon Cowel A.K.A Sico) has lost another view for X Factor.

God does she move on quick.. Kanye Fucking West!

Who has the biggest ego?

Just when I began to start liking Kim Kardashian she goes and fucks up again, in Kanye Wests latest song (even though he has 'retired from music') he claims that Amber Rose fell in love with someone else then he fell in love with Kim Kardashian; 'and I admit I fell in love with Kim around the same time she fell in love with him'. So he's trying to pass the blame to Amber Rose even though he was bonking away with Kim? Not cool Kanye. TWAT.

Justin Bieber is sinking, his career?

Someone through him a rope, with an anchor attatched to it!

Unfortunately no Justin Bieber has not drowned but, he does in his latest single Girlfriend. His eagerly anticipated single is yet again not released but instead he has released a 21 second teaser. The song was co-written with Mike Posner and is an Bieber's third studio album (in only four years, which if past artists have proved there is little chance that he will have a long lasting music career, which could be why he is such a sell out already).

Will any Minogue live happy ever after?

I'm positive she won't die alone, less sure about him.

After four years of bliss and a 21 month old son Dannii Minogue and her partner, Kris Smith have decided to separate. The singer/model/reality show judge/philanthropist/activist/designer had met her model/former rugby player boyfriend in Ibiza in August of 2008. Its a good job she didn't marry the full like she has done in the past as this time she was the money maker and could have ended up giving this model(? Without a Wikipedia page) half of her estimated £20 million fortune.

Bitch don't give up!

Your still pretty chubby.

Thick shit Kate Winslet has in another interview fired criticism at someone else who was involved with Titanic. She during an interview for Daybreak (GMTV) with Kate Garraway claimed that 'Leo's fatter now, and I'm thinner'. She's hardly anorexic. I'm guessing she's just jealous of Celine Dion's vocal ability and that her marriage actually worked out, and that while she had a semi successful career helping her earn $35 million (after two divorces) while the, THE Leonardo DiCaprio has earned over $200 million, has had no marriage breakups and is in demand as ever.

Two years of speculation and now a divorce to follow

At least she married well.

Boyzone singer Ronan Keating (not the dead one, not the addict, not the old one, not the one of Coronation Street) is getting divorced by his wife of 14 years of happy marriage, at least 12 anyway before he got busy 20 year olds. They have both spoke out on Twitter to say they still love and care for each other (bollocks!), she loves her divorce settlement. The couple lived in the suburbs of Dublin with their 3 children; Jack 13, Marie 11 and six year old Ali. If they split it all shes in for a £4 million pay day, plus the house if he's a nice guy.

Kate Winslet plays a diva and looks a fool

TEAM CELINE!

Kate Winslet's career was formed because of Titanic which she only got the role because she fucking stalked the director (and probably slept with him) and now years on she should be celebrating its success but this fucking idiot attacks Celine Dion and her the soundtrack saying it makes her barf! She is actually a silly bitch. ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM YOUR FAT YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BARF!

THEY 'HAD SEX'!

He looks like Beverly Hillbillies.

Robbie Williams has taken to his blog to confess to a little secret he has been keeping from his fans, he is expecting his first child with new wife Ayda Field (I know I'm shocked too I always thought he would eventually come out!). The 38 year old boy band star wedded his 32 year old wife in his Beverly Hills home in August of 2010. And speaking of overpriced Los Angeles mega homes he has recently been seen touring the Bel Air manor where Michael Jackson came to his untimely death.

Does he even have £40 million?

He knew he was that rich.

Well apparently he does, in fact its reported that he has a net worth of £76 million (not for long unless he's insured). He is being sued by his former employers for undisclosed reasons possibly because this fucking arrogant twat sued him first for £1.7 million. This huge court battle would panic even the most cool celebrities (like Sly Stallone) but this fool is just casually filming MasterChef US in Venice Beach, gotta love that English work ethic pity it hasn't ran off on the rest of the population.

Megan Fox is soon to be officially a milf

She looks like Stacey off Eastenders.

A close source has revealed that Megan Fox is expecting her first child with husband of two years, Brian Austin Green. The source also claimed they literally just found out so we are currently waiting for conformation. 38 year old Brian already has a 9 year old son from a previous relationship with actress Vanessa Marcil (don't worry I have no fucking clue either). This kid will be quite good looking I guess due to its mother (not her father and I've only just noticed but why is she with him, he's 13 years older, not really good looking and not even that rich) and a couple of millions in a trust fund plus at least two homes in the Hollywood hills to inherit.

Bieber buys a baby mansion

Give me a terrace in Altrincham anyday. I'm not jealous, honest.

Rich bitch Justin Bieber has lately been eyeing up several Los Angeles homes and yet again it is reported he has splashed $5.515 million on a Spanish hacienda in a gated community in Calabasas, Los Angeles. He was also believed to have bidden on Ashton Kutchers rented home, but the philandering actor is keen to stay so placed a higher bid. The home was once belonged to Eddie Murphys ex wife and has 10,012 sqft of living space, 6 car garage, 1.28 acres of land, 7 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. And I am not saying that the address is 25202 Prado Del Grandioso, Calabasas, California 91302 (in case anyone gives a fuck).

BBC vs ITV

Cunt.

I am positive that as we speak Simon Cowell is sitting on a large white leather sofa (to match his teeth) in his £9 million house in Holland Park acting smug over his defeat over the BBC. The smug twat earned 9.4 million views for the return of Britain's Got Talent, The Voice UK only gained 8.4 million. But this is obviously due to David Walliams, who next year should demand a hefty deal to return, he deserves more than £500,000. I preferred The Voice, Amanda Holden is one annoying bitch!

Tacky Tulisa is on the sue.

I was expecting black gotta be honest.

Things are going well for our tacky bird lately and now she's suing her ex-lover for being in the clip (which for the record is shit you see more on Shameless). Even though the wannabe rapper as claimed it was not him who leaked the video. She wants £100,000. She got it wrong she should be suing the people who are making it possible to view it online as they would be able to give a hell of a lot more than £100,000, just ask Kim Kardashian she will steer you straight.

The Beckhams have left the continent

It looks like a rehab clinic.

After two years of speculation Beckingham Palace is officially for sale. The Beckhams want to minimise their ties to Europe so have decided that its time to list their £18 million home in Hertfordshire and their £2.5 million house in the south of France (and I'm guessing its why he didn't take the football contract in Paris, Victoria has him hen pecked). They claim that these properties are unnecessary expense (obviously) and that their children are settled in California.

Someone shoots white stuff all over Kim Kardashian on film, AND IT'S NOT RAY J!

The victim.

Kim Kardashian was hosting a party for the launch of her latest perfume at the London Hotel, West Hollywood when an as yet unidentified Asian women flower-bombed the reality TV star. She was quickly ushered to a private room by security and then rejoined the party moments late looking even hotter than before. Her sisters quickly took to Twitter to defend their sister as did Guilianna Rancic.

The attacker.

The best piece of Michael Jackson memorabilia

Very oppulent.

... The house he died in. How would you like to be the proud owner of the house Michael Jackson died in, well if you have $23.9 million go ahead an buy away! Michael rented this mega home for $100,000 until his untimely passing 2 years ago and arguably helped this property on Sunset retain its value. The home has 7 bedroom, 13 bathroom, a seven car garage and over 17,200 sqft of luxury living in Bel Air.

And The Houston Saga Continues

Exhale.

Ray J has been busy again and just happened to record it, the sort of celebrity (not quite sure why) has been approached by the Houston family pleaing for him not to sell them. He obviously will. The Houston's claim that will portray her in a negative light, but she's kind of already done that in so many ways possible, crack, cocaine, crack cocaine? If a fucking no one like Kim Kardashian earned him $5 million, imagine how much he'll get from Whitney!

Fazer had a lucky escape from this tacky twat

It was shit, she should grab the money and run!

Tulisa whatever has sent out her lawyers to retrieve a video of her performing a sex act which surfaced on the Internet recently. On Monday is first surfaced and download cost £3.90, and whoever paid that to see this cheap, desperate, fame hungry whore should be ashamed of themselves. She is disgusting. There is also claims that she was approached during X Factor to release the tape and was even offered £500,000. Which she should have took and ran!

The Kardashian family are far too comfortable nude

Demi did it better.

In honour of Rob Kardashian Jr's 25th birthday his mother, Kris Jenner has released an image of her pregnant with him on her blog. The Kardashian household was obviously and dysfunctional as the Osbournes, which is how they have built their empire off Kim's sex tape with Ray J. Kris actually looks hotter now than she did 25 years ago, the wonders of plastic surgery!

1D get a Nickelodeon show, there a little old?

I actually hate this new type of celebrity.

Looks like they may actually crack the US after all thanks to the folks at Nickelodeon. They have a combined age of 93 years so will they really be successful as the new US heartthrobs? Maybe, maybe not. Looks like these annoying shits are making Simon Cowell a lot of dollars.
Zayn: Difficult to work with obviously has a big ego, just look at his time on X Factor.

Niall: Looks socially awkward and has very little vocal ability.
Harry: Has a huge ego and likes to think he is the original Frankie Cocozza, little vocal ability and just in general a twat.
Liam: Had an okay voice when he first applied for X Factor then only got put in One Direction out of pity.
Louis: Has the most annoying smile and doesnt fit in with One Direction, plus he's fucking 20!

Barlow is back. Oh.

Robbie got thin, Gary got fat, Robbie cracked America, Gary... Got fat!

His songs where dull and boring, he is dull and boring yet Simon Knobhead Cowell seams to think Gary Barlow done a good job judging the X Factor so has invited him to sign on for another year. Bring back the original panel; Simon (although he's an disloyal miserable old twat), Chery (chavy but easy on the eye), Dannii (who is the best reality TV judge ever and is a genuine nice person) and Louis who is a fucking legend (eat shit Cher Lloyd, it takes real skill to lip sync)!

George Clooney's dad gets arrested!

He looks too calm for this to be real.

Yes grey haired 500 year old George Clooney's father is still alive and kicking. So alive in reality as the Hollywood veteran's father was arrested for protesting outside the Sudan embassy. Which considering Clooney has made a documentary on the subject I am guessing its just a publicity stunt and within an hour afterwards the Clown was chilling in a 5 star hotel sipping red wine. Fame is fickle and he shouldn't be looking to Kim Kardashian for ways to stay relevant.

Ken Barlow is bad, bad man.

Deirdre still wears the trousers in their fictional marriage.

Bill Roache aka Ken Barlow has released some personal details we could actually do with out. He claims to have no control over his sex drive and claims to have bedded over 1000 women, plus Deirdre. This also led to alcoholism and numerous divorces. He obviously has a huge bank balance or knob. You decide.

Bobbi Kristina is marrying her sort of step brother

Will it last? Until the money drys up.

Long ago when Whitney was high she took over responsibilities over her friends son. His father had died and his mother was unable to look after him (I'm guessing drugs and alcohol if they are friends with Whitney) so good Samaritan took over custody, meaning she was high and got swept up in the movement. Anyway her daughter is secretly engaged to her brother and her family are concerned that he is just in it for the money, which I disagree with because if I was to get married for money I would go for someone with more than $5 million and someone not in the limelight as when the inevitable divorce happens you will become one of the hatest members of the public, just ask Kim Kardashian's second husband.

Tacky Tulisa likes her some bad boy

CHAV!!!!

Tulisa Unpronouceablesecondnameavich recently broke up with her band mate Fazer (not a clue of his second name and he doesn't really deserve my time after all its only fucking N Dubz) and now she's dating Jack O'Connell. Who just for the record looks as equally chavy as her and is a bit of a drop down from that Fazer. Thats it really: tacky Tulisa bags a chav!

Not marriage material

Feeling rough?

So it turns out Simon Cowell is all talk, literally the man paid a lap dancer £4,000 just to talk. Over the weekend Sico enjoyed an evening at Stringfellows nightclub and is reported to have paid a lap dancer just to talk. The 52 year old unloyal reality TV judge left the classy establishment at 4:00am. During the evening he bought two £300 bottles of Grey Goose vodka and multiple bottles of Sapporo beer and as ever he was just wearing his staple black t-shirt and unflattering jeans. I'm guessing the marriage is off?

Snookie is snooked!

Snook, ditch the heels.

Jersey Shore star (yes actually a star and no sarcastic comment, Snooki is hilarious and makes for amazing TV) has became pregnant with her boyfriend, Jionni LaValle. They have also announced their engagement (good religious family then). She found out she was pregnant some time after New Years Eve and immediately has changed her lifestyle claiming that she doesn't want to be one of those mothers in a nightclub. Congratulations Snook and good luck with the new reality show which am sure you will have now been offered.

You can't take down the KK

She's a spinster whore and he's a very expensive hooker.

Reality TV reject Kris Humphries has gave Kim Kardashian the chance to get out of her fake marriage easily for $7 million. I'm not a fan of the KK but I do think this fuck up is aiming far too high considering when he was actually on the Kardashian based reality shows he was just a complete twat. Plus the fact that he's earned $1.3 million from the marriage and it secured his New Jersey Nets contract worth $8 million. So he is just like her, a greedy pointless person who deserves shit! If this pair of fools walked into my courtroom I'd donate all their assets to charity and put them in prison for life!

The legend that is Adele has bought a £2.5m house in Hove

Hometown Glory reference.

There seems to be a lot of celebrity real estate purchases lately and they all are completely irrelevant (that is aimed at fame whore Kim Kardashian and that untalented young girl, Justin Bieber) until it comes to Adele. And after months of searching Adele has purchased a £2.5 million house in Hove. It is not as big as her current rented place in Sussex (which she believes to be haunted) but this one has an amazing sea view. She will be moving in with her new boyfriend.

Whitney Houston actually had some money?!

Whitney Houston has died (pretty much assuming everyone knew that), and has left 100% of her estate to her only daughter (and fellow drug addict). Bobbi Kristina will get portions of the the money in stages starting on her 21st birthday, then her 25th and then her 30th. Which the majority of will be earned after her death considering she only had about $5 million left in actual cash thanks to the love her life (crack not BB).

Justin Bieber has not bought a $10.8m house.. yet.

It was recently reported that teen superstar (each to their own) had dropped $10.8 million on a modern house on Lake Hollywood. Ashton Kutcher is currently renting the house for $50,000 a month. This has since been reported as complete bullshit he is however still on the hunt for two Los Angeles homes, one for him and one for his mother (MILF!) for around $14 million (he should look at Vanilla Ice and realise that he needs to invest and save money rather than spending it on frivolous purchases, property is not a good investment. Unless your second name in Trump.).

Shocking Stacey smokes while pregnant!

At least she's sober.

Reality star Stacey Solomon is not a good role model or mother, she has recently been photographer smoking whilst 7 months pregnant. Since then she has tried to explain herself to the people via This Morning, she claims to smoke around 3 cigarettes a day. She seemed on This Morning to be genuinely apologetic and ashamed of her actions but is she really in the wrong? My answer no she had tried her best to quit and has massively cut down so at least she is trying, so fuck all you haters!

Eddie Murphy boning the Braxton

Cellulite.

The title says it all really sort of iconic actor Eddie Murphy is dating broke ballad singer Toni Braxton. I'm guessing its due to the size of his bank balancing more than anything as his whopping $75 million could easily handle her debts of up to $50 million, with some left over to survive on. Eddie doesnt half like a bit of rough but then again its a massive improvement on Mel B. Did he un-break her heart?

Another fading star has faded away

He doesn't look too healthy there.

Singer Davy Jones most notably from the band The Monkees died. He was seen in recent weeks looking healthy (and overly tanned) until he suffered a massive heart attack aged just 66. The Wednesday before his death it was reported that he had been suffering with breathing. He will leave behind a newish wife, four daughters, multiple grandchildren, an ailing band and dozens of devastated fans (not to mention a dismal $5 million).

Celine Dion forced in to vocal rest by UCLA doctors

Don't worry Celine our hearts will go on, and on!

Iconic musician and Queen of Las Vegas, Celine Dion has been forced to pull out of her Las Vegas show for four months due to a viral illness and weakness in her right vocal cord. This is Dion's second show in Vegas her first being a huge success and lasting 5 years, and when it terminated Dion was eager to get back. Since her last show she has a had a wildly successful tour plus she gave birth to twins Nelson and Eddy. She will return to her stage on June 9th, her stage being the $95 million Colosseum at Caesar's Palace Casino which was custom built for her and her previous show. She is reportedly being paid per $500,000 per show which would suggest that she actually is ill and does not just fancy a break.