Karl Lagerfeld is God.

Really?

The godfather of fashion Karl Lagerfeld has turned his couture hand to another project, a fucking helicopter! The rude and rather obnoxious icon had been approached by Agusta Westland to design a luxurious fleet of helicopters which I can predict that will be overpriced and white. In the past the feld as designed everything from Diet Coke to Dom Perignon and even once was offered to design a fashion village in Dubai (which like everything in Dubai didn't work out).

As if the less talented version of Chavy Cheryl has been signed to the X Factor for another year!

She is ugly, has no talent, what is wrong with people?

Yes, the title is indeed correct Tacky Tulisa has been given another year on X Factor and the tacky bitch has been given a pay rise, of £500,000! And to celebrate she has reportedly bought a white Audi Q7 for £50,000 (which means she's probably had some sort of tasteless, pointless upgrades as the list price for this model begins at £40,010). Well The Voice UK has beat Britain's Got Talent, and now the dictator (Simon Cowel A.K.A Sico) has lost another view for X Factor.

God does she move on quick.. Kanye Fucking West!

Who has the biggest ego?

Just when I began to start liking Kim Kardashian she goes and fucks up again, in Kanye Wests latest song (even though he has 'retired from music') he claims that Amber Rose fell in love with someone else then he fell in love with Kim Kardashian; 'and I admit I fell in love with Kim around the same time she fell in love with him'. So he's trying to pass the blame to Amber Rose even though he was bonking away with Kim? Not cool Kanye. TWAT.

Justin Bieber is sinking, his career?

Someone through him a rope, with an anchor attatched to it!

Unfortunately no Justin Bieber has not drowned but, he does in his latest single Girlfriend. His eagerly anticipated single is yet again not released but instead he has released a 21 second teaser. The song was co-written with Mike Posner and is an Bieber's third studio album (in only four years, which if past artists have proved there is little chance that he will have a long lasting music career, which could be why he is such a sell out already).

Will any Minogue live happy ever after?

I'm positive she won't die alone, less sure about him.

After four years of bliss and a 21 month old son Dannii Minogue and her partner, Kris Smith have decided to separate. The singer/model/reality show judge/philanthropist/activist/designer had met her model/former rugby player boyfriend in Ibiza in August of 2008. Its a good job she didn't marry the full like she has done in the past as this time she was the money maker and could have ended up giving this model(? Without a Wikipedia page) half of her estimated £20 million fortune.

Bitch don't give up!

Your still pretty chubby.

Thick shit Kate Winslet has in another interview fired criticism at someone else who was involved with Titanic. She during an interview for Daybreak (GMTV) with Kate Garraway claimed that 'Leo's fatter now, and I'm thinner'. She's hardly anorexic. I'm guessing she's just jealous of Celine Dion's vocal ability and that her marriage actually worked out, and that while she had a semi successful career helping her earn $35 million (after two divorces) while the, THE Leonardo DiCaprio has earned over $200 million, has had no marriage breakups and is in demand as ever.

Two years of speculation and now a divorce to follow

At least she married well.

Boyzone singer Ronan Keating (not the dead one, not the addict, not the old one, not the one of Coronation Street) is getting divorced by his wife of 14 years of happy marriage, at least 12 anyway before he got busy 20 year olds. They have both spoke out on Twitter to say they still love and care for each other (bollocks!), she loves her divorce settlement. The couple lived in the suburbs of Dublin with their 3 children; Jack 13, Marie 11 and six year old Ali. If they split it all shes in for a £4 million pay day, plus the house if he's a nice guy.