Kim Kardashian rents an overpriced tacky house

Does she not know she lives alone?

Sex tape star, former wife of Damon Thomas and Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian has signed a lease for $40,000 a month for a tacky house in a gated community in Beverly Hills. She orignally had her heart set on a much larger house in Bel Air but decided to stay in Beverly Hills to be close to her former residence (which she likes to think is worth $5 million which just isnt true, in a good market she'd be lucky to get pack what she paid, $3.4 million). Her new 6,700 square foot home has 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms

80 year old Uma Thurman is pregnant with her third child

Yeah I don't own any rights are anything about this image, thank God.

Kill Bill star(?) Uma Thurman and boyfriend Arpad Busson (rich and old, good combination) are expecting their first child together. They each already have two children each from previous relationships (hers by Ethan Hawke and his by Elle Macphearson). Okay so maybe she isn't 80 but she looks a hell of a lot older than 41 and incapable of conceiving a child. If I was one of her existing kids I'd be pretty pissed that she is cutting down their inheritance by around $7.5 million (but he must have a couple of tax dodged millions floating around somewhere as his looks and his girlfriends/lovers/wives/fiancees don't quite match).

I obviously don't get fame, the Oscars is a special event to award generally talented actors not the chance for fame hungry twats like Sacha Baron Cohen to act a cunt with pathetic publicity stunts!

Nothing to say really.

Sacha Baron Cohen is a dumb fuck who makes me ashamed to be British. This knob turns up in a dictator costume and rambles some random shit (all his movies and accents are the same, just saying) that doesnt even make sense then 'accidently' tips over fake ashes of Kim Jong Il over Ryan Seacrest! Why?! Why would you do this?! If I was Ryan Seacrest I would have punched this prick repeatedly in the face. He is just not funny.

Rihanna on the shortlist to play Whitney Houston in a movie, why?

No similarities at all!

Rihanna maybe talented but what the fuck has she got in common? Whitney Houston was a powerful ballad singer and Rihanna is an edgy (verging on trampy) R&B singer. And considering Clive Davis is actually involved with this movie I have actually lost some respect for him as there is a lot more suitable candidates for the role, Jennifer Hudson. I've got a feeling this will either be the best movie ever or a complete fuck up like Mariah Carey's Glitter (which I didn't think was that bad), give me The Bodyguard any day!

Admiral General Aladeen was uninvited then invited to the Oscars?

Did Gaddafi have a love child?

Edgy (meaning completely fucking weird and possible insane) actor Sacha Baron Cohen made it public his intentions to arrive to the Academy Awards as his latest alter ego. The alter ego being that of Admiral General Aladeen an exiled dictator (that's pretty much the movie don't bother going to see it). Until the producers decided that he needed to re-think his outfit (I thought Gaddafi and North Korea's dictator where busy, but who knows?) or he would not be permitted to attend. Then he did a pointless promo telling them to re-think his invitation, they did and now he's going. That's it really.

Was he planning to get busy on the red carpet?

I'm guessing he was expecting more than a hand shake?

A new Youtube sensation has gone viral and it shows 24 year old Zac Efron (former teen star who is quite overrated lets be honest now) greeting a female fan and dropping a condom in the process. The incident happened at the premiere of The Lorax which was also attended by Taylor Swift (who is has recently been reported to dating since there was an element of sexual tension between them as they dueted on Ellen). Enough said really former Disney star wraps it up.

I'm guessing Abdul forgot to pay her insurance?

Hey Paula!

Paula Abdul isn't having such a good year first she gets dropped from the US X Factor (Sico's a twat, enough said), secondly she finally has to compensate Jill Kohl who fell over in Paula's house while filming Hey Paula as told by her lawyer Robert Rodriguez Clayton. She has agreed to pay $900,000 to her and $100,000 to the TV show's production company. And now thirdly she is selling her house for an unknown reason (do we have another Joe Jackson?). The house is in a gated community in Sherman Oaks and listed for $1,899,000 by realtor. It includes a pool, 0.26 acre garden, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and over 4,679 sqft of luxury living space (HINT, HINT, GO BUY!).

.. Nice house.